I’ve felt the desire lately to begin putting my thoughts in to words. Not just any thoughts, but my deep reflections and speculations about life, existence, people, the world, the universe. The more I think about it, I see two possible reasons for this desire.
First, putting thoughts in to words solidifies them. A thought on its own is intangible, a virtual whisp of nothing. Thoughts go just as easily as they come, like a gust of wind through one’s consciousness that dies down as quickly as it picks up. It is not until a thought has been communicated, and breaks the barrier in to external reality, that it becomes concrete.
By making my thoughts real, communicating them outside of my own internal realm of existence, I define myself more clearly as an individual. Too many times have I been involved in a discussion or debate about nearly anything — the nature of knowledge and authority, sociology, psychology, the universe — where I come to realize that there’s too much I don’t know or haven’t thought about. I seek to remedy this through journal writing.
The second potential reaction that may arise from this is that someone reading my journal might take interest in my ideas and thoughts. They may agree or disagree, or amend to what I’ve said. Debate and discussion, both methods of exchanging information, are excellent ways to expand the minds of their participants, so long as those involved keep their minds open. Initiating discussion could be the best possible outcome of this venture, because it would allow me and whoever reads this to learn from each other, and vice versa.
Now that my intentions and motives are out of the way, I’ll start right at the beginning: Who am I? I don’t mean the shallow biographical stuff you’d find on Facebook or MySpace. Not, Hi, I’m Dave, a 24-year-old programmer and general life geek. This question will likely remain unsolved throughout the span of this venture. Each entry will reveal a little more, will provide a little more definition to my self. But right now, I am attempting to answer it well enough. The following is my thoughts about how I view myself as an individual from the inside out. It would be fascinating to hear people’s reactions, and for them to reveal what they see from the outside in. I imagine it could potentially be two very different tales.
In a very broad context, there are two constants in my life that define almost everything I do as an individual: I have a constant hunger for knowledge, and a constant desire to be heard. When I get interested in something, I don’t fuck around.. I keep an open mind, and let the evidence speak for itself (yes, I sound like Gil Grissom.) I’m not spiritual, and I live in constant awe at the sheer scope and complexity of the universe. I believe in altruism, and envy the Amish/mennonite way of life, without the religion. I like to watch people and wonder who they are, what they care about, what they think about.
I like to know how and why everything works, from physics to psychology, from computers to cars. I enjoy entertaining ideas about alternative realities. What if we didn’t work 40 or 50 hours a week? What if we didn’t rely on money to survive? What if we lived in small co-operative communities, like tribal natives, but still had the conveniences of modern technology? I love “what if.”
This is me on the surface. I’ve been told before that I’m like an onion, with seemingly endless layers of complexity. From here on, I plan to peel the onion, and analyze the definition and details of each layer. I invite you to participate. Discuss and debate my thoughts. Something tells me we’ll both enjoy it.